Ryan C. Khan
“Growing up on this small island for me is both a blessing and a curse. It is great if you are into a more chilled, partying lifestyle but when it comes to progress and accomplishing goals, there is a low rate of returns. In that absence of progress though, our family bonds and friendships run deeper. I have recognized this difference when I travel to other countries. I lived in a small town called San Fernando. I spent most of my pre-adolescent life in a beautiful innocent bubble. I had the freedom to run around in the bush everyday and a new adventure of my own creation awaited.”
“Then at the age of eleven my parents separated and I moved to the capital of the country, Port of Spain, with my mother, brother and sister. My father was still in the picture but he went to live on his own. When I finally got around to socializing I realized things were different. I felt like a fish out of water, so at this point I went on a new adventure called ‘trying to fit in’. This was definitely not as fun as waving a stick around in the middle of nowhere, fighting off monsters, but I would say it formed the person I am today and more specifically why I choose to be a filmmaker.”
“Before I got into filmmaking, I always felt like something was missing in my life. I was not academically or athletically inclined and in our country the arts are not really encouraged as a career path. I was somewhat disenchanted with life, feeling like I had no other option but to get a nine to five job in our countries main economy, the energy sector, get married and drink heavily on the weekends. I still do some of those things but filmmaking has merged the worlds of childhood imagination with the gut-punching realities of adulthood. I do not think my life growing up as a Trinidadian was horrible or painful, quite the contrary, I grew up quite privileged. I also had a lot of privileged friends and we spent many weekends going ‘Down The Islands’ which is our version of the lake house life. We also have this amazing annual festival called Carnival, which is a massive street parade that has grown into a global phenomenon over the years. I know there are many great and wonderful things about my country that powers my creativity however, I can not help feel that I am limited in this space. Maybe that’s something all artists suffer with or maybe I need to leave. Time will tell.”
“My father is retired now but he was a small enterprise sort of guy, starting up several businesses, some very lucrative and some very not. My mother used to work in the bank before she had us, stopped then restarted not too soon after she separated from my father. I think my father was a very honest, caring, business person, he unfortunately was too trusting which lead to being taken advantage of in this corruptible society. Even though my parents are separated we are still a loving, cohesive family. Of course, it is not perfect but I would not change anything about how they are or the way in which we were brought up. In a lot of ways we are closer and made us see what really matters in life. Again, it serves as inspiration for my work.”
“I attended 2 of the most prestigious Roman Catholic Secondary Schools on our island - Presentation College San Fernando and Fatima College Port of Spain. These schools have a long history of enabling and nurturing some of the best minds our country has to offer, even though its foundations were built off of colonialism. I spent most of my academic life in Fatima so I’d say I have more of a connection with that school but in terms of school having an influence on my career choice. I would say it was very little in the ways of academia but a great amount when it comes to the quality of teachers and systems. My biggest challenge was finding this career or being shown this as an option, so I wish that was more present growing up. I am sure it is different now but for sure my school and career have very little to do with each other. That being said I wouldn’t change a thing in terms of how I grew up, just probably less time spent trying to fit in with others.”
“I never attended university, I would like to but then a part of me thinks what sense does it make spending all that time, energy and resources when I am already on the path of achieving what school is setting me up to do? I know it’s not as simple as that; there are some great benefits to film school, especially if you choose the right one. If I do attend university it would probably not be in this field but one closely related, like a more technology based art form such as VR.”
“It was around age 20 I found this industry…or maybe this industry found me? I was in the middle of jobs; I had done everything from selling cars and computers to bartending, but never felt like I hadn’t found my true calling, so I kept looking. Around the same time I moved to a new neighborhood, and on my afternoon trips home from whatever job I had at the time I would see this sign on a small, unsuspecting office building with the title “A Big Fish in a Blue Bottle Ltd.” Serendipitously, my brother had worked with them and he explained to me that they did video production. ‘Video production?’ I asked. The next day, I walked in and asked if I could intern. I had to be persistent with them but when I got in it was free sailing. Within three months I was working and getting paid.”
“In Trinidad and Tobago, something creative like filmmaking was not encouraged. I do not believe it was completely rejected because we have a history of artistic expression. I guess something as complex as filmmaking was just not seen as viable way of life and reserved for the Hollywood elite. Thankfully, both my parents were very supportive of my choice, although I believe they had their concerns about my choice, in a space such as this. Even though I have made it past what I feel is the trial period and have become the filmmaker that earns a living, it is still understood that chances of success are quite narrow in this industry. That is why I never shunned those concerns, I worked with them to inform my decisions every step of the way. My parents main point was you can do whatever you want in life once it earns you a living. That was probably one of the most influential contributions to my career.”
“Besides my family life being a major part of my influence, I think my introduction to 1980’s Hollywood films at very early age played a part in shaping my vision. I had not really understood this until later, after working on commercials. Commercials being the point of realization because when I was doing my own work, short films and music videos. I would being creating something in a void, not sure why I would want to tell stories in the way I did. However, when I started doing commercials, usually there would be a script from an advertising agency and when I had to pitch my vision, it would usually be along with several other directors. So when I saw the versions of a script that I pitched but did not get showing on TV it was a great lesson. I really saw how my renderings of the script, that a lot of the vision were influences from 1980’s Hollywood. Stephen Spielberg, Robert Zemeckis, John Hughes and John Carpenter just to name a few but all part of specific era of Hollywood so I’d say those guys are the most influential without even my realizing it. Even though this was a big influence I would say I continue to draw inspiration as I grow and evolve in my craft - my current inspiration is David Fincher.”
Technically my first ever paying job in this industry, would have been my first pay check from Big Fish in a Blue Bottle but I prefer to think of my first paying project as my own project that was not part of the production house. This was a music video for a Trinidadian rock band called Orange Sky ‘Alone’. I am also part of the very obscure rock scene in Trinidad and these guys knew I was into video production so they approached me. They did not have any ideas in particular and back then the highest quality cameras available in our country were still shooting SD. I was also now getting into editing with Media 100 at Big Fish and the band had a lot of footage from small tours so I decided to create a tour music video with some added rotoscoping and photoshop filters.” See it here.
“I am currently working on commercials and music videos with plans to return to creating my own films. It’s a bit difficult to work on passion projects with an infant film industry. I mean, it’s both an exciting yet difficult as we don’t have access to a lot of the support mechanisms to get your work from idea to execution but it serves as a welcoming challenge.”
“I would like to do more for my country, not only for the film industry but its society on a whole. I plan to travel a lot more with my work but I’ve always had a dream of a thriving industry where Caribbean folks can go to the cinema and see both local and foreign films of equal quality being shown, so they can see themselves on screen. It’s going to take some time but we will eventually get there.”